Yes, he was successful, but when you are successful, sometimes you don’t have time to enjoy your success: it looks too much like, “I wonder if my next project will make it?”
I don’t think creative people are ever satisfied. I know I’m not. But then, I also have a wimpy constitution. I keep going and going to get something done, then, “Bam!” I get scared of my own shadow, and it takes a couple of days to pick myself up back on my feet again.
My grandmother, Frances “Frankie” Gershwin, whom I am named after (along with my grandmother Elizabeth: which is my middle name) was in many ways trapped by other’s expectations intp a stagnant position, even though people around her were wheeling and dealing and getting things done.
The research I am doing on her (funny to research your own grandmother, but people keep giving her stuff like letters to the Library of Congress, so I’m going back there next to keep reading them) for the book I am writing is reminding me of all the things that I am grateful for in my life: My husband, my kids, and the feminist movement. Well, not to put it too bluntly, but she had a caring brother (George) and she settled down to get married, instead of pursuing a career in the outside world. Yes, they were just a good little Jewish brother and sister at heart… but I remember the balcony of her painting studio—it jutted right out over the dining table—always there. I imagined, as a child when we visited in summer, that she couldn’t get away from her creativity.
Luckily I have a husband who supports me. He wants me to be me. He love’s me to have a sucessfull career. Leo, my grandmothers husband, was a scientist and a musician (like my husband) but I wonder if he had the courage to support her…. I am finding out…
To all of you out there who have been keeping up with me on my journey, and to any newcomers here: Welcome to the next level! I am getting a little more personal. As my inner life and my outer life coincide more, I don’t want to be shy.